My wife and I have been going through the adoption process for a couple of years; after five potential adoptions that failed, we are now going to be bringing home a baby boy very soon. As I stare fatherhood in the face I can’t help but be flooded with emotion, fear, anxiety, happiness, joy and love. When my wife and I even started to think about having children we never could imagine where God was going to take us. The type of adoption we were called to and prayed for was an open adoption; meaning we would have a relationship with the birthmother. These types of adoptions generate lots of questions and concerns for family and friends; however, it makes perfect sense to the adopting parents. For the most part the majority of our family and friends have been supportive and encouraging; I would be lying if I said everything was smooth sailing. Our adoption has one more additive to it; our son will be African American; our family will be trans-racial. Our son being African American has not concerned me one bit because of the support system that we have been able to build. My biggest concern – fatherhood.
When I think of being a father I think of the determination and courage it takes to provide for a family; and I guess that is where the fear sets in. I remember the hard work and determination that my own father had and I have to ask myself do I have that determination and courage; these are the questions I ask myself. Then I read what Paul wrote as he is closing his letter up to the men of Corinth church, “Be alert, stand firm in the faith, be brave and strong. Your every action must be done with love.” 1 (Corinthians 16:13-14); and I realize that leading a family is what we are called to do as men.
Sadly, men have allowed a culture of seductiveness, darkness and passiveness to define us as men. When you look at young men and teenagers today most people will respond by calling them irresponsible, immature, careless and negligent in their roles as men, husbands, leaders and fathers. Even Jesus and the other disciples experienced this in their day; they experienced lazy, unmotivated, weak, confused, unintentional men – how else would we have hundreds of scriptures about how to be a man that still apply today? What has taken this by storm is the mass media and cultural drive of selfish desires by way of catering to men and revealing to men that they can have all the flesh desires but lose everything that God has called us too. Men today spend more time watching TV or surfing the Internet than in meaningful conversation with their children (2011. The Resolution). What has developed is that the television becomes the influence and reference point for what a man is, what a husband is and what a father is. The truth is these young men who have sex as teenagers and have children didn’t “just happen”, it was learned by their father or whoever was their father figure. How many times do we watch sporting events at the high school or college level and make comments about the players’ attitudes? These kids didn’t just start acting like this, sports didn’t just take a turn for the worse – the leadership did. These young men are products of their fathers or cultures that put more importance learning a sport then learning what they are truly called to first and foremost – a relationship with Christ. When grown men will do anything to go to a sporting event, buy a car, make money, meet women or anything that meets a selfish need then you can bet the children will follow. Our culture has rebuilt the golden calf of idols; just like when the people couldn’t wait in the book of Exodus (Exodus 32) for Moses to come down with God directions they created something to worship because they grew impatient. When we as men grow impatient or when we are not getting what we want we create our own “golden calf?” We either work jobs we hate to buy things that make us feel temporally satisfied; or we go to sporting events to pour into a group of guys “living the dream”, or we indulge our sexual desires by pornography, or the most acceptable form of entertainment for men of late visiting a restaurant where the women dress provocative so men can fantasize. When we build our “golden calf” of idols or anything that distracts us from God’s vision and call on our lives we cannot be negative and write off the generation of men that we help raise up with our selfish desires. We must become chain breakers.
Let me explain what a chain break is first – men who break away from anything holding them back from leaving a new legacy of faithfulness behind them (2011. The Resolution). Some may ask what are we breaking chains from? We all have chains that are either bred into us by our parents or choices that cause sin and the bondage that follows or the hurtful examples, lies and worldly traditions that we follow – OR it could and in most cases is a combination of all of these. Before we go any further, think about the “chains” in your lives’; no matter where you are with your walk with God or your level of acceptance of Jesus you have a consistent battle to overcome sin and the bondage that follows sin. Let me give you an example: I refer a lot to the struggle of lust because this is the foundation of most mens sinful lifestyles. I am one of those guys… when I was exposed to pornography in my early teens and I made the choice to entertain this; I single handedly started a chain of events that would link me back to that moment. That single choice to follow something that I knew to be wrong and follow the sin of lust would be the foundation that would lead to numerous other decisions.
So what is you foundational sin? What is keeping you in bondage today? Is it pornography, drugs, alcohol OR is it something less noticeable like greed, pride or depression? To start the process of becoming a chain breaker in your family and/or in your life it starts by realizing that God has determined the times and exact places for us (Acts 17:24-27); where we live, our circumstances are all for reasons above our understanding. Also, realize that God has guided your steps (Proverbs 20:24) and it is not an accident who your parents are or the path you have taken. Every bad thing that has happen to you, every wrong choice you have made, every sin that holds you in bondage today – can be worked together and used for God's good (Romans 8:28).
Before we can break chains in our sinful nature that was inherited or sin we commit ourselves or the hurtful examples, lies and worldly traditions we follow – we must be willing to view our life from God’s divine vantage point then we don’t have to be crippled by the generational sin that has plague our families. God is strategically working out opportunities for Him to be glorified. If you are reading this then you could be that person that has been strategically placed in your family to break the chains of bondage caused by sin.
Before you go any further – take a hard look at your life, your family, your children, friends, wife, girlfriend, parents, sisters, brothers; what type of generational sin are you passing on? What type of legacy are you leaving behind? God is calling you to turn and use the bad situations and choices for His glory!
Reference:
Kendrick, Stephen & Alex (2011). The Resolution for Men.
Image Source; http://www.worldproutassembly.org/archives/2006/07/everywhere_he_i.html
