Fear of Failure

Fear is a funny thing… it can have some much control over us as men. My most recent example was when I was asked a couple of weeks ago by XXXChurch to participate in the online blog; I instantly felt fear. I felt fear because I was reminded of all the reasons I couldn’t succeed at writing blog entries for XXXChurch. This is the same kind of fear that so many of us as men fall into when we try to honestly follow Jesus’ standard of purity in our life. There are some men that have such a fear of slipping up that it will lead them to decide to continue with their lifestyles in order to feel some sort of success.

I accepted Christ in February of 2005 and what resulted was an immediate change; a 180 degree turn from the drugs, alcohol, pornography and pretty much everything else that makes men “unclean” that is mentioned in Mark 7:21-23. I was a new man and I wanted everyone to know it. Several months later of trying to live a perfect life that reflected all that God had to offer, I started to feel this sense of failure in my walk with Christ. The freedom that I had found in Christ was getting overshadowed by following rules and when I would fail or feel like I had failed, I’d feel guilty and distant from God. I was trying to go to church and do the right things; however, I was always interrupted with the people around me. See, I had not been in church since I was a teenager and started to go back to church. What I found was that people who where members of the church and sometimes even the ministry staff would “look” like Christians but their actions and words would be of the world. In Matthew 7:15-19, Jesus is warning us of false prophets that come disguised as harmless sheep and Paul also speaks of people who are more concerned with the laws than the salvation through the cross in Galatians 5:11-12.

From my personal view, I think that I had felt like I had done so much wrong in my life that I would make it up by doing all the right things; sometimes acting self-righteous. Paul tells the churches of Galatia that if they are trying to make themselves right with God by keeping the law, they have been cut off from Christ; that they have fallen from God’s grace (Galatians 5:4). God’s grace is what set me free in the first place but I had allowed myself to be judged by man’s law resulting in me falling into a continuous reminder of all the reasons I was not a Christian. Before I knew it I was searching for success and acceptance behind my computer through porn or through some sort of impure thought. When this started I felt more like a hypocrite which resulted in more failure. What had changed? Why had I gone back to something that would separate me from God’s truth and grace?

Reason why was because I had not changed my habits as far as monitoring what I was exposing myself to. Yeah, I had cut out drugs, alcohol and pornography but I was still watching movies and TV sitcoms that had sexual content in them. I wasn’t in the Bible daily and I was not being transparent about my struggles. I was allowing the outside interferences affect my view of the truth, about God’s grace. I had let the world judge my walk with Christ by putting standards on myself or letting other people put standards on me instead of going by God’s standard. This is a dangerous place to be, this is the place that many people walk away from God and decide to be a success in the world’s views. These senses of failure lead me to a full fletched addiction of pornography again…

It is important to remember that being Christian is not about perfection but about forgiveness. Knowing what Jesus actually did through His death on the cross. It’s about knowing who to go to in the middle of struggle. God doesn’t punish us, we punish ourselves. God strengthens us through every weakness we have because His grace is sufficient for us and His power is made perfect in weakness (2Corinthians 12:9). I am proud to say with all the praise in my heart that He has giving me strength through my weakness. How did I finally find freedom? I realized that God sometimes allows us to go through struggles and trials to strengthen us, to develop a dependence on Him. Times of difficult are the best times to embrace the Holy Spirit and to be desperate for God. You can’t change overnight because frankly we didn’t fall into a sinful lifestyle overnight, but you can start by a “bite size” approach. God gives us numerous times throughout the day to say yes or no and opportunities to practice what he is telling us. The important thing is to remember where to go when we feel that sense of failure… to the foot of the cross.


Image Reference: http://jos-al.deviantart.com

Hypocritical Testimonies

I was 25 yrs old when I truly accepted Jesus. When I finally said, “I can’t do this any longer.” I was 25 yrs old when Christ came into my life and turned my life around and challenged me to “Follow Him” (Matthew 4:19). An immediate change occurred in my life.

Hypocritical testimonies of so called Christians were one of my biggest barriers. I was discouraged by the Christian message because of the people who where in my life who claimed to be Christians but their lives reflected a different message. Why would I listen to someone talk about the Love of Christ and then watch that same person turn a blind eye to someone because of the color of there skin or their economic status. Why would I want to go to church with a friend if he was out partying with me the night before, doing all the same things that I was and sounding the same as me? I looked at it like this… It was a waste of time to go to church because at least I was being me and not putting on a front on Sunday mornings. In my mind I was preventing myself from being a hypocrite.

We live in a timeframe that many people profess to be Christians but have fallen into the world’s selfish desires and are living for them selves. In 2 Corinthians 13:5 professing Christians are to test themselves and determine whether they are really living in Faith. Bottom line is that just because someone claims to be a Christian doesn’t mean they are one.

Want to ask your self a tough question? Then ask yourself “Am I really a Christian?”

The point I am trying to make is that people profess to be Christians because of their good deeds; Jesus warns us that some people will be surprised at their fate because even if they cast our demons or cast miracles in Jesus’ name doesn’t necessarily mean that we are Christians. This is a strong comment; however, Jesus makes this clear in Matthew 7:13-24. Bottom line is that there are people out there, in churches, workplaces, schools and even our own homes that profess to be Christians but have the sightless idea of what they are truly professing. I was one of those people at once… In my darkest moments in life I still would tell people that I was a Christian. What kind of message was I demonstrating, “Yeah, I’m Christian but its cool to get drunk, do drugs, go to strip clubs, disrespect women and have sex.” You may laugh or look in disgust at that comment, but look at your own life and really ask yourself, “Am I really a Christian?” Is God working in you, enabling you both to will and act for His good purpose (Philippians 2:13), have you allowed God to transform your life?

This term of transformation is one that scares off some people… it did me but then I was introduced to Justification. Justification means that we have been saved from the penalty of sin, which was even weirder because if we have been saved from sin then why not indulge? This is why transformation in our life is not automatic, we must choose at each moment whether we’re going to resist the temptation to sin and live according to God’s plan for our lives; each resistance to a temptation to sin is allowing God to save us more and more from the power of sin.

All this talk about transforming and resistance against temptation is all good but what it comes down is - “are you going to allow God in your life?” Simply saying you’re a Christian doesn’t mean a thing and it certainly doesn’t help other people. I look at the things that I participated in while I professed myself as a Christian, while I called everyone else a hypocrite for going to church I didn’t realize I was the biggest hypocrite! People often try to perceive their selves as perfect Christians by trying to look and act like a Christian around the church people or for the couple of hours a week. I am here to tell you… that since 2005 I’ve been a Christian and I can truly say that with all my heart and soul. The reason for my blog is so that people well not fall for the plastic people that go in and out of church each week but realize that being a Christian is about messing up and falling short, it’s about being strengthened through our weakness.

The reason it took me so long to turn to Christ, to God was that I was looking at the people around me for that perfect God. It wasn’t until God allowed me to get to a place where I could hear, for most of us this is hitting rock bottom. Hitting rock bottom has its advantages though… we have no other place to look other than God and when He is the only one it’s pretty easy to listen. I rejoice in my struggles because it has allowed to fully rely on God.

We worship the perfect Christ, not imperfect Christians.

Tempted

I recently was out a conference and was reconnected with many colleagues that I knew when I was once a heavy partier. Since I have walked away from the life that once defined me I have always seemed to have a temptation to drift back to that lifestyle. Why? Well if you have noticed the life of drinking and risqué socializing is glorified. The act of rebellion has become a glorified act in which we as a society are expected to partake in. I have worked hard to overcome this lie. I am not going to get into if it is right to get drunk and do drugs but I will say that nothing good has come of any of that; I am willing to bet that if you think about it you might be able to say the same thing.

This “lifestyle” is an escape. I am now able say with confidence that when I was participating in that lifestyle it was because I was escaping my life, the life that seemed small and insignificant. The life that I felt was headed in no direction with not great purpose. I believe that this is the wilderness that we are all called to serve in. The wilderness is where Jesus went for 40 days to be tempted by the devil. In that time Jesus was tempted by sin and like Jimmy Seibert said one day during his sermon at Antioch about the temptation of Jesus, “We don’t know for sure how many temptations Jesus encountered but it is safe to assume that He was tempted by everything that we are.”

I am here to confess… I am in the wilderness! Not to the degree in which Jesus was, but I am being reminded each day of all the ways I am not a man by standards of the world. The world’s definition of manhood and scripture’s definition of manhood are two completely different things. What is portrayed in the media and in our culture influences the way we believe we should act as a guy.

Romans 12:1-2 (The message) So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—you’re sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

For me… the wilderness experience that Jesus had to endure with satan (Luke 4:1-14) is in comparison to he feeling that I sometimes feel while watching the world prosper while I live a not so extravagant lifestyle. These desires that I face can be money related, sexual temptation or my flesh being overtaken by the wicked desires of my heart or the number of other things that lie and wait. Think of how many obstacles that the enemy has placed in our path as men that affect our flesh in so many different ways.

1 John 2:16 says this, “For all that is in the world, that lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eye, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.” How is it then that we are not capable of defeating the sin and temptation that comes against us in our walk with Christ? Well, for me… it has been a daily battle and as my faith in God becomes more and more prevalent in my life the more and more the devil tries to intervene with my relationship with Him. It is recorded in Luke that Satan tempted Christ several times. Just as Jesus was tempted we are tempted. How can we overcome these temptations? As it is written in Luke the devil tried to entice the Lord with earthly things just like we are today. Jesus used the Word of God as a weapon to overcome the temptations and by Jesus putting the word into action with His confidence in God’s word and His faith he was able to conquer satan’s temptations.
So how do I overcome these daily attacks? By the daily use of God’s Holy Word in my everyday Christian life, this enables me to overcome thoughts of lustful and sexual temptations; to overcome all wicked desires and evil temptations and sinful thoughts. God’s Word stands true even in times of temptation!

...however, I do fail. This reliance of God’s Word is not easy and certainly doesn’t happen overnight but when I fail, I turn to God with desperation for understanding of His word.

References: Combating Temptations - Christian Devotions for Men
Image Resource: http://jos-al.deviantart.com

"Live in Peace" by Gerald Sr

Too often we see peace as merely the absence of conflict, and we think of peacemaking as a passive role. But an effective peacemaker actively pursues peace. He or she builds good relationships, knowing that peace is a by-product of commitment. The peacemaker anticipates problems and deals with them before they occur.
When conflicts arise, he or she brings them into the open and deals with them before they grow unmanageable.

Making peace is hard work , but it results in God’s blessing.

The basis of Salvation is our belief in Jesus, but the basis for Judgment is how we have lived our lives.

"Wisdom" by Gerald Sr

Wisdom comes in two ways; it is a God-given gift and also the result of an energetic search. Wisdom’s starting point is God and his revealed word, the source of knowledge and understanding.

In that sense, wisdom is God’s gift to us. But He gives it only to those who earnestly seek it. But because God’s wisdom is hidden from the rebellious and foolish, it takes effort to find it and use it.

The pathway to wisdom is strenuous. When we are on the path, we discover that true wisdom is God’s and that He will guide us and reward our sincere and persistent search.

God gives us wisdom and victory but not for drifting through life or acting irresponsibly with His gifts and resources. If we are faithful and keep our purpose in life clearly in mind, he will keep us from pride and greed.

‘’GOD TREAT ME TODAY THE WAY I TREATED EVERYBODY YESTERDAY’’

Deny Yourself

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, He must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.’” Matthew 16:24

February 2010 will mark five years of following Christ in my life. It was the day that I thought that I took “up” my cross and followed Jesus. I have always interpreted “taking up my cross” as the burdens, addictions, and questionable behaviors, pretty much anything that was deemed as sin. Needless to say… what Jesus meant by taking up my cross; was far from what I interpreted.

In our culture the cross has become a cherish symbol of forgiveness, love, atonement and grace; also it has become a nice little silver charm worn on necklaces or designs in tattoos; however, in biblical times that cross was a instrument of execution. The cross represented one of the most violent and horrible ways to be executed. Romans would force convicted criminals to carry their own crosses to the place of crucifixion. When Jesus uttered those words to the disciples you can imagine what they thought, because bearing a cross meant carrying their own device for execution while facing ridicule along the way to death.

When Jesus said “take up your cross” He was asking us if we are willing to die in order to follow Him. Not actually die a physical death but something harder then that… dying to self or absolute surrender. What is amazing about this passage is that Jesus knows us all to well because He says “if” anyone would come. He doesn’t take it for granted that we are just going to choice Him over our self’s. He simply says if you are willing to… this is where I struggle and many other Christians do as well. Denying ourselves means to deny our selfish desires such as selfish ambitions to rise above other people, selfish behaviors to get what we want when we want it, selfish attitudes of caring only for our own interests and selfish desires to put our needs first above anyone else’s. How do we deny our selfish interest? By denying to read book or magizines that stimulate those thoughts, denying to daydream about having more things or controlling people, denying movies or television shows that feed those impulses, denying music that makes selfishness seem normal, denying people who drag you down, denying to talk about people or things or yourself in ways that put people down and denying to gossip, criticize, lie, steal , act selfishly in any way, shape or form. Denying yourself can seem like an overhaul of ourselves and in all honesty this was a shock to my system because this pretty much describes my life before Christ. For most of us, we don’t even realize that these actions have become a daily part of our live. I didn’t until I took note of everything I did for one day; from when I woke up to when I went to bed. Everything I participated in, how I reacted to situations throughout the day, what I watched on TV, what I read… everything. What I found (before lunch) was that I was a deeply selfish person devouring everything that filled my selfish desires.

This all sounds a bit drastic and it is! It is tuff not watching certain TV sitcoms that our popular because I know that they will entertain some selfish desire like lust or not seeing a movie that “everyone” is talking about because of the language and lifestyle that it promotes. Really “taking up your cross” means that we either say Yes to God or No. I never realized how much I was actually not allowing God to work in my life. Before I accepted Christ in February of 2005, I was just plain tried of existing. I was tried of living a life that was full of so many empty promises and I was tried of fulfilling my selfish desire and still feeling a sense of emptiness in my life. I said Yes to God on that day; however, I was reminded this past weekend of how much I still say No to God. Carl Gulley at Antioch Church in Waco spoke of saying Yes to God. He said one simple phrase that remind me that I was still saying No to God’s promises, Carl said “Do you love Jesus more then you did yesterday?” My answer sadly was No because I had gotten caught up in what is wrong and right; I had forgotten about the new commandant to love one another (John 13:34).

Before we start trying to justify our actions with meaningless excuses… ask yourself the question that Carl Gulley posed, do you love Jesus more today then yesterday? If not, then you are still saying No to what Jesus has to offer you…

Take up your cross… it will be hard and require work but it will be an adventure!

References:
Nasser,D. (2000). A Call to Die. In D. Nasser. Redemptive Art Publishing
Bible References, Holman Christian Standard Bible
Image Source: http://www.bibletemple.org/

Flirting with Temptation

I love the wilderness, I love nature… I love being out in the middle of nowhere and hearing nothing but the wind and sounds of nature. There is an eerie closeness that comes from being completely vulnerable to the elements of the world; no cell phones, computers, schedules, nothing to occupy the time but the thoughts and feelings of yourself. I look at the time I spend in the wilderness as a time of restoration, to start all over again. Hosea describes this need for restoration or starting over through a parable in which the Lord’s Love for unfaithful Israel is parallel with Hosea’s unfaithful wife Gomer in Hosea 2:14-15, ‘Therefore, I am going to persuade her, lead her to the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her vineyards back to her and make the Valley of Achor into a gateway of hope. There she will respond as [she did] in the days of her youth, as in the day she came out of the land of Egypt.’ Hosea’s ministry was a spin-off of his experiences with his unfaithful wife but look past that and concentrate on the parallel of how we as people of God flirt with sexual sins and are unfaithful by jilting God’s Love. (Towns, 2003)

We have all grown up in a society that is filled with noise. When I say noise, I am talking about all the distractions that come in the forms of movies, magazines, websites, advertisements, billboards, sporting events, commercials, cell phones, iPods, laptops, video games; distractions are everywhere. For a man, these are temptations. Sexually temptation is the most difficult area for all men no matter who you are, where you are or what your profession; the only difference is that some choice to control it and some choice to indulge in it – and most men fall right in the middle. Temptation is everywhere and at times can seem hard to avoid no matter what we do. Lets not be mistaking, temptation includes other areas as well; such as, pride, power, recognition from others, money, fame. All temptation forces us into a battle to make a conscious decision to either do the right thing or to fall to the enticing and attractive areas of sin. Doing the “Right Thing” is easily said but when we are in those situations that involve those temptations that produce sin, it can be the hardest thing not to give in.

In the society in which most of us live in it is OK to indulge into our wants and desires, other wise know as temptations. Also, we can find people to hang out with who re-enforce those actions and make us feel better about ourselves when in actuality they are as lost as we are. When I moved to Waco I was already into alcohol pretty heavily, drugs were something I did when we really wanted to party and pornography was something that became second nature. Even when my “true” friends started to question my lifestyle that had become reckless and abusive, I found new people to hang out with the made me feel normal. The lifestyle I choose to live was normal to me because I had saturated myself in that environment but it was actually adultery against God. Hosea knew first hand of what the adultery to God was like because he had felt the same with his wife the prostitute who couldn’t stay faithful and kept going back into promiscuous activities. We are all like Gomer the prostitute in some way; we go out into the world in some form or fashion and fulfill a temptation, we are all promiscuous in some way.

The definition of promiscuity is a miscellaneous mingling or selection of person or things. For most men, it is venturing out into the world of pornography, for others it may be something as simply as being prideful in a relationship and not forgiving someone or gossiping in the workplace; whatever that “thing” is in your life that is causing separation with God. The thing about being separate from God is that we don’t realize it because we our not knowledgeable that the actions we are participating in are causing that separation because we our looking to the people around us and not letting God guide us. Hosea writes about the inhabitants of the land of Israel around 720AD and how they sought help from other nations instead of the Lord, he writes of this lack of knowledge; ‘My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I will (God) reject you for serving as My priest. Since you have forgotten the law of your God, I will also forget your sons – Hosea 4:6.’ (“Forgetting sons” means generational sin)

Israel had turned their back on knowledge and refused to recognize the revelation of God, they where trading glory for shameful acts. All through Hosea chapter 4 it speaks of all the disrespect of God that was occurring; which are things that are occurring in our everyday life now with all of the noise of movies, magazines, websites, advertisements, billboards, sporting events, commercials, cell phones, iPods, laptops, video games; all things that if used without having a revelation of God can be distractions that lead to promiscuous activities. In Hosea 13 it is written that God is still our God no matter what and mentions how He takes care of use in the wilderness, when we have nothing to distract us, He supplies us with everything we need. For me, I literally go to the wilderness to be freed of all distracting and let God supply me with what I need through my prayers and mediation of His word. Everyone needs a word from God… you just have make yourself available.

All of this might sound good and all but with out a true acceptance of Christ in your life and as I mentioned before a revelation of God happens in our lives then Gods word is blocked by all the noise of the world.

Talk to God. Read His Word. Don’t give up.

Image Source: www.codyfmiller.com

Resource: Towns, E. (2003) Bible Answers for Almost All Your Questions. Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson, Inc.