Breaking Chains - Part I, What is it?

My wife and I have been going through the adoption process for a couple of years; after five potential adoptions that failed, we are now going to be bringing home a baby boy very soon. As I stare fatherhood in the face I can’t help but be flooded with emotion, fear, anxiety, happiness, joy and love. When my wife and I even started to think about having children we never could imagine where God was going to take us. The type of adoption we were called to and prayed for was an open adoption; meaning we would have a relationship with the birthmother. These types of adoptions generate lots of questions and concerns for family and friends; however, it makes perfect sense to the adopting parents. For the most part the majority of our family and friends have been supportive and encouraging; I would be lying if I said everything was smooth sailing. Our adoption has one more additive to it; our son will be African American; our family will be trans-racial. Our son being African American has not concerned me one bit because of the support system that we have been able to build. My biggest concern – fatherhood.

When I think of being a father I think of the determination and courage it takes to provide for a family; and I guess that is where the fear sets in. I remember the hard work and determination that my own father had and I have to ask myself do I have that determination and courage; these are the questions I ask myself. Then I read what Paul wrote as he is closing his letter up to the men of Corinth church, “Be alert, stand firm in the faith, be brave and strong. Your every action must be done with love.” 1 (Corinthians 16:13-14); and I realize that leading a family is what we are called to do as men.

Sadly, men have allowed a culture of seductiveness, darkness and passiveness to define us as men. When you look at young men and teenagers today most people will respond by calling them irresponsible, immature, careless and negligent in their roles as men, husbands, leaders and fathers. Even Jesus and the other disciples experienced this in their day; they experienced lazy, unmotivated, weak, confused, unintentional men – how else would we have hundreds of scriptures about how to be a man that still apply today? What has taken this by storm is the mass media and cultural drive of selfish desires by way of catering to men and revealing to men that they can have all the flesh desires but lose everything that God has called us too. Men today spend more time watching TV or surfing the Internet than in meaningful conversation with their children (2011. The Resolution). What has developed is that the television becomes the influence and reference point for what a man is, what a husband is and what a father is. The truth is these young men who have sex as teenagers and have children didn’t “just happen”, it was learned by their father or whoever was their father figure. How many times do we watch sporting events at the high school or college level and make comments about the players’ attitudes? These kids didn’t just start acting like this, sports didn’t just take a turn for the worse – the leadership did. These young men are products of their fathers or cultures that put more importance learning a sport then learning what they are truly called to first and foremost – a relationship with Christ. When grown men will do anything to go to a sporting event, buy a car, make money, meet women or anything that meets a selfish need then you can bet the children will follow. Our culture has rebuilt the golden calf of idols; just like when the people couldn’t wait in the book of Exodus (Exodus 32) for Moses to come down with God directions they created something to worship because they grew impatient. When we as men grow impatient or when we are not getting what we want we create our own “golden calf?” We either work jobs we hate to buy things that make us feel temporally satisfied; or we go to sporting events to pour into a group of guys “living the dream”, or we indulge our sexual desires by pornography, or the most acceptable form of entertainment for men of late visiting a restaurant where the women dress provocative so men can fantasize. When we build our “golden calf” of idols or anything that distracts us from God’s vision and call on our lives we cannot be negative and write off the generation of men that we help raise up with our selfish desires. We must become chain breakers.

Let me explain what a chain break is first – men who break away from anything holding them back from leaving a new legacy of faithfulness behind them (2011. The Resolution). Some may ask what are we breaking chains from? We all have chains that are either bred into us by our parents or choices that cause sin and the bondage that follows or the hurtful examples, lies and worldly traditions that we follow – OR it could and in most cases is a combination of all of these. Before we go any further, think about the “chains” in your lives’; no matter where you are with your walk with God or your level of acceptance of Jesus you have a consistent battle to overcome sin and the bondage that follows sin. Let me give you an example: I refer a lot to the struggle of lust because this is the foundation of most mens sinful lifestyles. I am one of those guys… when I was exposed to pornography in my early teens and I made the choice to entertain this; I single handedly started a chain of events that would link me back to that moment. That single choice to follow something that I knew to be wrong and follow the sin of lust would be the foundation that would lead to numerous other decisions.

So what is you foundational sin? What is keeping you in bondage today? Is it pornography, drugs, alcohol OR is it something less noticeable like greed, pride or depression? To start the process of becoming a chain breaker in your family and/or in your life it starts by realizing that God has determined the times and exact places for us (Acts 17:24-27); where we live, our circumstances are all for reasons above our understanding. Also, realize that God has guided your steps (Proverbs 20:24) and it is not an accident who your parents are or the path you have taken. Every bad thing that has happen to you, every wrong choice you have made, every sin that holds you in bondage today – can be worked together and used for God's good (Romans 8:28).

Before we can break chains in our sinful nature that was inherited or sin we commit ourselves or the hurtful examples, lies and worldly traditions we follow – we must be willing to view our life from God’s divine vantage point then we don’t have to be crippled by the generational sin that has plague our families. God is strategically working out opportunities for Him to be glorified. If you are reading this then you could be that person that has been strategically placed in your family to break the chains of bondage caused by sin.

Before you go any further – take a hard look at your life, your family, your children, friends, wife, girlfriend, parents, sisters, brothers; what type of generational sin are you passing on? What type of legacy are you leaving behind? God is calling you to turn and use the bad situations and choices for His glory!

Reference:
Kendrick, Stephen & Alex (2011). The Resolution for Men.
Image Source; http://www.worldproutassembly.org/archives/2006/07/everywhere_he_i.html

Making the Right Decisions

“Character, like a photograph, develops in darkness” – Yousuf Karsh (Canadian photographer)

Why is it so hard to do the right thing? I can remember every time I made a decision to be “bad” and having that feeling of knowing that it was not right. One moment in particular was when I first realized that I had become the person that I had always said I wouldn’t. During some ungodly hour at a person’s apartment that we hung out at often because they were the access point to anything we wanted to indulge in, I had a moment of clarity. As I sat back in the middle of the couch it was revealed to me what I had become. At this moment in my life I was in a highly dysfunctional relationship full of deception and deceit, was using alcohol and marijuana causally, and had opened the gateway to the next level. When I sat back and pondered and scanned the room during this brief moment of sobriety I realized I was doing all the wrong things with all the wrong people – no wonder I was unhappy. Now this moment didn’t last long but it was enough to make me think. First thought – How did I get here? Second thought – How do I change? Third thought – To hard.

So… why is it so hard to do the right thing? Holiness (meaning: dedicated or devoted to the service of God or the church). In 1 Peter 1, as Peter is reporting in his letter he speaks of the importance of being holy. Peter says to roll up our sleeves, put our mind in gear, and be totally ready to receive the gift that’s coming when Jesus arrives. He also says to be self controlled and not to conform to sinful personal desires; be holy in all that you do - or do the right thing. When Peter was motivating and telling his listeners of the importance of being holy and making the right decisions; he knew that it was hard to understand because we are sinful by nature. How can we live holy lives when we clearly live in an unholy world? We should live as strangers or foreigners here and not merely settle down and make ourselves at home in the world.

I watch so many men wasting their lives, not making good decisions – I was one of those men at one time. I used to assume the life that I lived was inevitable, that I was stuck and powerless to change. I had tried lots of times to change but nothing seemed to work. I have a family history of drugs, alcohol, sexual immorality and failure – I assumed “that’s who I am.” I learned to manage my lifestyle and accept it – to the point of celebrating my sinful, immoral life while making it my identity. It took me realizing that I was the problem. That the truth was that I needed to change; that I couldn’t change myself; and that I needed another power to change me – Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit was that power that changed me. It’s the only power that truly changes anyone.

I am convinced that every man wants to do the right thing. Even though I didn’t know the bible or really understand Jesus, God or the Holy Spirit; I always knew what I was making was a bad decision. That it was going to lead to something worse or would have the potential to end disastrous – I know now that the Holy Spirit is that feeling in our souls that we try to cover up with addictions, distractions and pain in an attempt to make our decisions seem right. We know what is right! We all know deep down that serving our Lord and having a relationship with Jesus Christ is right; why do we massively fail at making the right decisions? – Lack of self control.

Studies show that alcohol and marijuana are gateway drugs, meaning they lead to bigger and more intense actions and addictions. Sexual immorality (the quality of not being in accord with standards of right and good conduct) is the gateway to a life of lack of self control. Throughout the bible there are cultures that raise and fall, groups of people that raise and fall; this occurs when sexual immorality enters the picture and is celebrated. Throughout the bible you can pull references and points of interest to prove a point – I’m not going to do that. I will tell you that taking sex out of the context of what God called it to be, perverts the act altogether. That there is more to sex than mere skin on skin; it is as much a spiritual mystery as a physical fact. God says that “the two become one.” If we want to become spiritually one with God we must NOT pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy; which leaves us lonelier than ever; this kind of sex can never “become one.” Sexual sin violates the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love for “becoming one” with another. Our bodies our sacred and is the place of the Holy Spirit. We can’t live how we want, spitting on Jesus’ bloody face as we speak with our actions that His death wasn’t good enough. The physical part of us is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you; God owns the whole thing. We must show God in and out of our bodies.

The close up, the ability to do the “right thing” or make the “right decision” comes from something much deeper than the decision at the time of creation; the ability to make right decisions comes from the ability to have self control. The ultimate lack of self control comes from allowing our bodies and thoughts to be empowered by immorality in most cases sexually. When we have a life that is a destructive cycle, we have to find where it began. We have to find where we first allowed our bodies to be sold off into forms of prostitution in the forms of sex, drugs, greed, or something as simple as course speaking (or cussing). If we are having a hard time making right decisions then we must have self-control – “Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.” Philippians 4:8-9.

References: 1 Corinthians 6; Philippians 4
Image Reference: http://www.buzz22.com/2010/05/evidence_based_product_management/

Creatively Deceptive

“Drink the Kool-Aid” is used in both a positive and negative sense when we talk about following a mission or philosophy; however, its origin lies in the 1978 tragedy Jonestown where over 900 members of Peoples Temple took poisoned fruit punch at the direction of their leader, Jim Jones (2008, S.Stept).

I have been on a personal mission of late to discover what in the world does it look like to serve God… truly? Does serving God mean having a church personality, work personality, home personality, social personality… and so on? Does serving God mean voting what the “other Christians” vote, condemning women for an abortion with a picket sign or crude remark? Maybe serving God is going to church an hour or so a week. There are literally thousands of questions I could ask because we all have them; I want to touch on one particular question? What does serving God look like individually?

I mentioned a brief description of the expression “drink the Kool-Aid” because this expression reveals a group of people who believed a false prophet, idol, and a plain out lie. Many who experienced this tragedy first hand can tell you how easy it was to become entangled…many who weren’t involved with this tragedy quickly judged these people, wrote them off as crazy, delusional, and weak.

OK… confession time. I’ve drank the Kool-Aid several times in my life; and several times the Holy Spirit has revealed truth to me to prevent me from further decay of my spirit. What do I mean by this? My latest realization that the Holy Spirit has really been hammering home is just accepting what I see in TV sitcoms, movies, sporting events as “acceptable.” What a lot of people don’t know is that companies like Time Warner, General Motors and Marriott make millions off of the pornography industry; these are three American born companies who are serving the Kool-Aid of sexual immorality. Sure, they’re not making it but they are contributing to a $2.84 billion dollar industry in America, $4.9 billion worldwide. When Internet statistics reveal that 40 million adults regularly visit Internet pornography sites… there is a large amount of people drinking the Kool-Aid; this doesn’t even count the adults who visit pornography stores, strip clubs or under 18 users (most likely through their Smartphone’s).

Where does it start? I mean, Jim Jones of People’s Temple didn’t just overnight convert over a thousand people over to his cult; there was a slow acceptance. It’s like what has been said about frogs; you can put a frog in a pot of water and gradually turn the heat up, the frog will never realize till its boiling to death. We have allowed our culture and society to gradually turn the heat up on us…
In our culture it’s easy to say we have Faith and that we believe in God. What if our backs are against the wall? What if you are standing toe-to-toe with a decision to either choose God or choose satan? Want the honest answer… most choose satan. Why? Look at the proof, just like a lawyer or jury – look at the evidence. Media, style and culture are direct reflections of why most choose satan. This is strong and offensive but we make hundreds, maybe thousands, of decisions each day that either point us to Christ or point us to the prince of this world, satan (John 12:31, John 14:30). This is nothing new, people have been making choices for thousands of years to serve the world, and I get it because I was once that guy and honestly to some degree still am. Paul tells the Romans in Romans 12 not to become so well-adjusted to our culture that we fit into it without even thinking. Instead fixing our attention on God and we will be changed from the inside out. Readily recognizing what God wants from us and responding to it. Unlike the culture around us, always dragging us down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of us, develops well-formed maturity in us. Basically, “don’t drink the Kool-Aid!”

Our culture has turned into some twisted freak fest of sexual immorality; it’s everywhere and on everything. Among all the drugs that I ever experienced nothing was harder to overcome like the sexual cocaine that lured me into a trap and raped my mind and conscience; it was addictive and demoralizing. Sexual immorality is deadly and that’s why Paul made it clear in 1 Corinthians 6:16-20 that sexual sins are different from all others because we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, the bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Unlike mainstream drugs, pornography has become somewhat of an acceptable behavior for men of all ages… “Just being boys.” God created sex for a man and his wife to enjoy; He permanently linked its pleasure to marriage, love, intimacy and lifelong commitment. When a sexual relationship is modeled after what God called it to be it is grounded in love, freely shared and maintains its priceless meaning and many healthy benefits. There is no cost, no charge, no guilt and no regrets. When sex is twisted and manipulated by our culture by feeding us sexual images and sexual references in our movies, TV sitcoms, grocery store magazines, car ads, clothing ads, cartoons… (Literally every venue of our culture has some type of undertone of sexual reference or immorality) – We are all drinking the Kool-Aid of deception by the gallons! All men are tempted sexually; however, not all men entertain the temptation. Women – if you think it’s not a problem then you too have drank the Kool-Aid.

So, let’s ask the questions once more; how did Jim Jones convince over 900 people to join him in insanity? He gained trust, he bullied, and he gradually introduced small amounts of “craziness” to build this insane group of people. Let’s flip it… we let TV networks, politics, movies and culture define what is acceptable. Cartoons with subtle sexual references flood our children’s minds. What’s the difference? I know some families, men, women and even teenagers who have already drank the Kool-Aid of deception and truly believe what the world says goes… who is the prince of this world?

Men – if you read this and it hits home; talk to someone. There are true believers out there that will not judge you or force religion on you. But they will help you for a relationship with Jesus. You do need a relationship with Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit to impact your life.

Women – pray for your eyes to be open to the accepted worldly things that trip up the men in your life.

Reference:
Kendrick, S. Kendrick, A. Alcorn, R. & Kimbrough, L. (2011) The Resolution for Men. B&H Publishing Group, Nashville, Tennessee.

Stept, S. (2008.Oct.15).MSNBC.http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27204411/ns/msnbc_tv-documentaries/t/where-did-drink-kool-aid-come/

The Example

I recently went to Milam County Cowboy Church in Rockdale to witness my sister, brother-in-law and nephews be baptized all at once. It took all I had not to burst in tears of joy! There was one comment that the preacher said as he asked who is first; my brother-in-law volunteered and then the preacher said to him “that’s the way it should be because men are the spiritual leaders of their families.”

Spiritual leader, what exactly is that?

The meaning of a leader is an individual who goes first and leads by example; therefore, others are motivated to follow that individual. This individual must have a deep-rooted commitment to a goal even if nobody follows. I am passionate about seeing men develop a relationship with Jesus Christ. Why... because once a man gets a relationship with the living God, Jesus; they are powerful weapons against all that is evil. They become powerful leaders in their families, workplaces, churches, community and in all walks of life.

Men struggle for purpose, direction and respect; when these are not meet or there is an unhealthy approach to obtaining these then this is when men fall. Men will seek something to give them some sort of artificial substitute in the form of addictions such as drugs, alcohol, pornography, sex, money, work; any thing that opposes or takes God’s word out of context (1John 3:4). Men who struggle with purpose, meaning and respect turn to some sort of substitute because they usually didn’t have adequate leadership in their own lives. Men that never had their fathers’ speak into their lives, raise them, teach them, love them, respect them or call them out as men in an encouraging manner are usually the ones searching and accepting artificial substitutes or a lie. Jesus speaks truth; and the disciples that walked were no different then any other man living today.

I am not taking importance away from women because they play an important role in reflecting the bride or church; men must be a groom or the reflection of Jesus Christ. Without Jesus there is no church, without a groom there is not bride. Statistics show women raising children alone without a father or male role model have a higher chance of struggling in many areas. Men play an important role because they are to be leaders but how can we as men be affective leaders if we are struggling with our own lives trying to find purpose, direction and respect while falling prey to the sin of the world. Teenage boys, young men and older men are walking around searching for these things in the wrong places… men would rather chase their selfish desire by hanging out in clubs, womanizing, drugging or drinking, spending money on meaningless things; anything to mask the fact that their lives have no purpose, no direction and that they get no respect.

I can speak into these things because I struggled with these things. I do have a father and he taught me valuable lessons that have carried me throughout live; however, one thing that was not revealed to me clearly was the importance of a relationship with Jesus. Yes we prayed and I said I believed in God but really never understood what I was saying. My father is a hard working man and always has been, he has always made sure that food was on the table, that we had clothes on our backs and a roof over our head. We lived comfortable but as I grew older I struggled because I didn’t have a purpose, direction or the respect that I’d envisioned; therefore, I struggled with all of the artificial substitutes that I mentioned before. Many people blame their struggles on others, and most of the time that may be true, but there is a time to quit blaming others and look to ourselves. Most men grow temperamental, easily offended and have prejudices of their environment when purpose, direction and respect are missing; this is true for myself and Jesus’ disciples. Even though I may not have had the perfect spiritual upbringing that some churches would look for; I was teachable. Jesus is looking for men willing to learn. Problem is that most of us get so caught up in our lack of purpose, direction and respect that we fill our lives with materialism, addictions and pride which destroys the opportunity to meet with Jesus and overcome our issues to experience what we are truly called to.

When Jesus sends out his disciples one of the things He tells them is to not take any money, clothes or shoes; to literately go with the clothes on their back; then he tells them to not hesitate when offered hospitality as long as they are working (Matthew 10:9-10). Why would he tell them this? Well, He wanted them to always be in a position of needing God and not getting blinded or distracted with the selfish needs. If God was always the provider then they would always look to Him, not their selves. When Jesus sends out the disciples He wants them to be totally reliant on God’s direction. If you want a purpose, a direction and respect then you must look to Jesus. Men are the method that Jesus uses to win the world and He is waiting on us to create space for Him to reveal His truth. That truth is Jesus is looking for men who are fed up with the religion that is vested in a small minority of people and the hypocrisy that fills our lives. Jesus picked men who where common laboring men, having no professional training beyond their basic knowledge of their vocation, they weren’t considered wealthy or rich. These men represented an average group of men in their society in their day; they most certainly were not the men the Pharisees would have chosen. Jesus chose these men because they were teachable; however, they were still mistaken in their judgment, slow to comprehend spiritual things but also they were honest men willing to confess their need. Jesus is waiting to use you in a big way… He wants to give you a purpose, direction and respect.

Follow His lead… “I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you” – John 13:15

When Peter falls on his knees and tells Jesus to leave him because he is too much of a sinner; Jesus simple says “Don’t be afraid” and calls him out of his selfish lifestyle and reveals a life of purpose, direction and respect (Luke 5:8-11).

Make room for Jesus, lose the pride and look to Him. Your family, children, wife and so many others need to be lead by a Spiritual Leader who has learned to follow the example of Jesus Christ.

Obey

I was recently at a conference for my job in the Dallas area; it was held at a well known upscale hotel. On the morning of the second day of this conference I was headed down to the lobby to have breakfast in the hotel restaurant and I couldn’t help but notice the large amount of military personnel that were sitting in the lounge area of the hotel lobby. Some of them were enjoying breakfast, drinking their juice or coffee or using cell phones. As I continued to make my way to the restaurant I noticed a young man sitting in the corner slouched back with a look of anxiety and despair as he stared out the window with his juice and breakfast in front of him. When I walked past him I was struck with the feeling that I was to pray for him. I went into the bathroom and battled back and forth with myself and God about praying for someone out in the open lobby in front of my peers that were all entering the restaurant for breakfast. How I would look? Insane? Like a radical? Then God reminded me of the apostles and how it was not their duty to reason why Jesus spoke the way He did; but only to carry out His orders. Just as this solider was awaiting to fulfill his orders that where handed down to him, whether he totally understood the reason of why he was fulfilling them or not, he had a duty and honor to carry them out. When this thought ran through my head I instantly turned around and reentered the lobby, I stopped and leaned on a pillar in the lobby and started praying for guidance. As I was praying, several people stopped to say hi and ask “what’s wrong” or “who you waiting on” needless to say I was waiting on myself to follow what God had called me to. I finally made my way over to this young man as he ordered an extra cup of ice and ate his breakfast. I approached the soldier and apologized for interrupting his breakfast and proceeded to tell him I wanted to pray for him. As I started small talk about family, friends and his mission I asked again if he needed prayer; he responded “I can use all the prayer I can get.” After praying with him I left with a sense of accomplishment, I had actually stepped out and obeyed God’s commands. I then started to really realize how much of a slacker I was in my walk with God.

Just as men and women are going to battle overseas, we too are engaged in a spiritual battlefield. We are all faced with issues which are life and death and each day that we are indifferent to our responsibility to God is a day lost to the cause of Christ. In our self-indulgent lifestyle we to often concentrate on our selfish desires that we forget we are called to be servants of our Lord and to obey His Word. I struggled with being a Christian because I was always taken back by the amount of people who professed to be Christian yet their witnessing was stunted in growth and useless. Why are there so many Christian’s complacent with mediocrity? Following the teachings of Christ regarding self-denial and dedication have been reduced to involving Jesus only when it is convenient and productive for our selfish desires. Where is the obedience of the cross? (2010, Dr. R.E. Coleman)

We all find ourselves in those moments when we choose to allow Jesus Christ into our lives for help, decision making and guidance. There are also those times when we put Him to the side because it is going to be embarrassing, inconvenient or we are fearful. Wow; this reminds me of Judas. Judas was the disciple who sold Jesus for 30 pieces of silver (the price for a slave) because he expected that his association with Jesus would be the stepping stones to a future glory and honor in the present day kingdom. When Judas gradually realized the truth of what Jesus was referring too; that an actual cross awaited Him and not a crown Judas abandoned the ship before it sank. Judas made plans to ditch Jesus, get money and get in with the right people before it was too late. Judas wanted to be important, have money, and to prove Jesus wrong. If we are honest this motivation sounds familiar or similar to some of our desires….

Judas was a man who used Jesus when He needed Him, when it was convenient. I was a man who lived for selfish acts that included drugs, alcohol, pornography and a ton of emotional things tied to these actions. When it came to praying or going to church it was usually when I needed something or when I was dealing with some type of guilt issue or fear but it was always from a selfish place. We are prideful people and we don’t see ourselves as selfish but a simple assessment of our lifestyle will reveal who we serve, “No house hold slave can be the slave of two masters, since either he will hate one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You can’t be slaves to both God and money.” – Luke 16:13

Struggle for Purpose

I haven’t written in a while and this is in most part because I have been struggling with life and the purpose of my own personal journey. Even as I sit here I think of the name of my blog, “A Man’s Greatest Battle” and also the verse I have based my person struggles on 1 Corinthians 6:12; “…everything is permissible for me, but I will not be brought under control of anything” I think of why there is so much struggle for purpose and identity in a man’s life.

This huge struggle to find identity and purpose is hampered by sexual sin that has been captivated by the world in forms of internet porn, prostitution, DVDs, TV sitcoms, reality shows, MTV, BET, main stream movies and even video games. The men of the biblical day had to encounter some of these things but obviously with new found technology of the modern world; which is meant for good has also enhanced the addicts of sexual sin by main streaming it into every venue possible to create multi-billion dollar industries while leaving a wake of destruction in the form of a selfish ambitions and agenda’s.

What is a man’s purpose? Is it a race to see which one can obtain more power, money and the latest new trended items before we die? Or is it to buy a car or truck and have 22’ wheels and a screaming stereo system to ensure that everyone knows the song that we are listening to? Maybe, it is to wear the clothes with the best label and try to be like these celebrities that people idolize all so that people can label us according to our dress and actions? Odds are we all fall under one of these categories because we are humans and we are not perfect. We all look for purpose; however, sadly we look for our purpose skin deep and this is where the problems set in.

I have been on this journey of purpose in my life for all my life, every man is. The problem is that I used to jump to what ever was popular or trendy depending on the circle of people I was around at the time. I never really developed who I was because I was so intrigued with being noticed or important. This drive to be noticed or to be important is what drives men to dive head first into a materialistic world full of empty promises and a bad bill of goods. The world promises a lot and when we take an honest assessment of our life’s filled with expensive clothes, credit cards, loans, TVs, DVDs, computers and technology galore, what it has really done is draw our attention away from God. I’m not against having these things but you must ask yourself a very important question, if it was all stripped away what would you do? Right now many people work very hard at maintaining a lifestyle that requires all the earthly comforts, desires and expectations. What happens when these things are threatened or tampered with – where do you run for comfort? I can tell you right now in our society the answer is to run to something that makes you feel better temporarily. Sexual immorality.

Without getting into all the “ins and outs” of why people turn to certain things, I want to focus of why men run to porn or a better question is why men get put in a position to sin sexually? The industries that specialize in the realm of sexually related services have become a mutli-billion dollar business; this is just the industries that publicly trade; there is a whole other sex industry that is thriving underground called the sex-trade or human trafficking. Sexual immorality is real and the addictions that come from it are as real as it gets.

What do we do with this? First, men have to admit that they are looking at porn, lusting with the eyes, or talking scantily about a female all of that is sexual immorality and every time this sin occurs something dies. Wives become entangled with un-realistic expectations while being disrespected and unloved. Boyfriend/girlfriend relationships become a guilt trip or an expectation for sex; which takes the gift of sex from God for marriage and turns it into something shameful. The word prostitute is used numerous times throughout the Bible; many times prostitute is used to show an act of selling yourself out. In Jeremiah 3 God speaks through the prophet about the unfaithfulness of the people in Israel and Judah. After comparing the people’s sin of that of the actions of a prostitute and explaining that the people of Judah didn’t truly return to God but only simply implied they wanted God. This is where we have to be as men of God, are we going to return to God whether at home or away and make it our aim to be pleasing to Him (2 Corinthians 5:9). Or do we simply grow ashamed of God and His words in this adulterous and sinful generation; which, will only result in Jesus being ashamed of us (Mark 8:38).

Jesus went to the cross, so we must go to the cross, we must remind ourselves that we are carrying around the death of Jesus because we need a new life with His motivations, His purposes, His favor so that He might dominate in everything we do (2 Corinthians 4:10). If we as men want our marriages, children, careers, relationships to have deep rooted love and purpose then we must have a God-centered life. The beauty of Jeremiah 3 is that God asked for the return of unfaithful Israel, not looking in anger but full of love. The only thing that starts the reconciliation with God is that we must acknowledge our guilt in the ways we have sinned (Jeremiah 3:11-13). It’s that simple; if we want to find our purpose in life we must reconcile with God and then work to reconcile our relationships in our lives. Take a stand against what the world says is good and look to God for what is right and good in the Bible. It’s hard to start but reach out and pray for people to rise up in your lives and for help to understand the scriptures.

The Road Less Traveled

In society, public opinion knows what’s best; what gives the majority the authority to determine what is right? Jesus says in Matthew 7:13-14 that the gate is wide and the road is board that leads to destruction but the gate is narrow and the road difficult that leads to life. So if everybody’s doing it then they must be on the road that is broad. What exactly is everybody doing? Conforming to a pattern of the world; pick your poison we all have one. I write toward the issues that I struggled with, drugs, alcohol, and pornography; and then the really deep issues like depression, angry, stress and anxiety. Bottom line – everyone has something because we live in a fallen world and no one is perfect. Paul says this in the first part of Romans 12:2 “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world…” – I think I speak for many of us when I say “Easier said then done!”

I was always big into music and while I have replaced most of the rap, rock and metal music for praise songs I am often reminded of songs from my earlier days. One in particular was written by Erik Schrody in 1998 called “What it’s like”; Erik was the lead singer for Everlast at the time. This song was unusual because it displayed some pretty intense images and lyrics that in all honesty speak a lot of truth to how the world treats others who are stuck in a bad situation. He speaks of three individuals: a homeless man outside a liquor store, pregnant teen going to clinic and a kid caught up with some bad people. The whole point of the song is that people judge others for their situation, people who have, yes made some bad decisions, but that want better – the chorus to this song is:

God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes
‘Cause then you really might know what its like to sing the blues
Then you really might know what its like

The music video and with commentary by Erik’s explanation of the songs ending is this; the crowd of people have lived a life that is not perfect but they are doing this best they know how and are watching this nice, neat, beautiful family eat dinner. They crowd of people symbolizes the broad road… but they all want what the family has – love, respect, compassion, direction and purpose.

Life is messy. The truth is that the road to destruction is broad and society is dictating what is good for you and me; and as men this means that sex sells. How? First by visual means; Jesus says in Matthew 5:28 that anyone who looks at a women to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in our heart. Jesus is giving us an example of how serious this is… think about it. When a man looks at porn he just doesn’t wake up and make that the agenda item for the day; something, contributes to this and it comes from our eyes. Years ago before I started to live my life for Jesus I would listen to this song by Erik, it became a favorite because when I was in my early twenties I felt like no one new what it was like walking around in my shoes. I was a mess from head to toe and participated in everything and anything I could build enough nerve up to do but after a while it became a normal life. Lifestyles do that… they become normal.

To truly overcome the road of destruction I had to first realize that it wasn’t my fault that I didn’t know about the saving grace of Jesus Christ, because honestly up to that point into my life I didn’t have a lot of people pointing me to the cross. Most people pass judgment before they even have a chance to get to know a person based purely on the outside appearance or the actions that are displayed. What people don’t realize is that Christians and non-believers are on the same broad road that leads to destruction and there are only a few that will find that the rough road that leads to life (Matthew 7:14). Why? Because we are not being careful of the false prophets who come in sheep’s clothing that are really ravaging wolves (Matthew 7:15); these wolves is the sexual temptation that we allow in our homes by way of movies, TV sitcoms and even commercials. It’s the people spewing “Jesus hates you” at a young girl going into a abortion clinic when they have no idea what has happened to lead her to that decision; it’s the people who treat a person as sub-human when they are homeless but can’t see the road that lead him to that point; and its that preacher who takes the gospel of Jesus out of context to push his own personal agenda. “Ravaging Wolves” can come in all shapes and forms; on the streets or in churches; they are everywhere.

How do we overcome the addictions of this world? Next part of Romans 12:2 says “be transformed by the renewing of your mind”; we must turn to God it’s the only way we will see true victory. Get a bible, pray to God, openly talk to God honestly about what is in your heart, and find people to confide in that have experience with similar struggles. Jesus never said that we it would be easy that’s why he calls it the narrow difficult road; but He does say in John 16:33 to be courageous because He has already conquered the world.


Image Source: http://browse.deviantart.com/photography/civilization/?qh=§ion=&q=Man+Walking+on+Road#/du1t5k