Be Brave

To be brave, to have bravery is to stand up against that which is opposing or to have courage to stand up against an enemy. Bravery has lost its implications and power with a battered and quickly weakening society of men in our world. What tool has been used to destroy the bravery of men? What has created a secret battle that men are fighting alone, denying its existence or completely oblivious to its damaging effect on their families, marriages, relationships and theirselves? Pornography.

Paul Fishbein, founder of Adult Video News, is spot on when he said, "Porn doesn't have a demographic - it goes across all demographics." We would like to think (as most assume) that churches, Christian churches, ministries and organizations would be excluded from Mr. Fishbein's comments but the truth is they strengthen Mr. Fishbein's bold comment. According to data taken from Internet users who participated in a General Social Survey conducted by Covenant Eyes those who self-identify as "fundamentalists" (or conservative Christians) are 91% more likely to look at pornography than the general public. Now conservative Christians may be self policing themselves in other areas like alcoholism, drug abuse, debt management and whatever other requirement some religions place on their members - but the dirty little secret is that men, teenage males and young boys are being blindsided with the drug of pornography. Yes, I said drug, this is an addiction. We are only starting to see the effects of mass produced porn on our culture. Porn consumption for many is a weekly or daily affair for many men, women and yes even our young children - some studies showing ages around 11 years old. Dr. Judith Reisman called porn an "erototoxin" - meaning that the brain itself might be damaged while consuming and watching porn (1. Judith Reisman, “The Science Behind Pornography Addiction). She said that future brain studies would reveal that the surge of neurochemicals and hormones released when someone watches porn has measurably negative effects on the brain. Studies done recent are supporting her comments. 

My addiction to pornography was an almost 20 year battle, much of those years not realizing or acknowledging that first of all it was an addiction and secondly that it was having a negative impact on my life. Growing up within a culture that it was acceptable behavior for a young male to act out utilizing pornography; not to mention that it was somewhat of a right of passage to be a man to watch porn - this being a negative impact on my life was never on my radar. Whether or not a person believes in God or trusts the Bible as God's word-  the truth is the truth. In the book of James vs 1:14-16 reign true, he talks of faith and endurance in the first part of chapter one and sets it straight in verse 14 that temptation to give into evil comes from the lures of our own evil desires. Then goes into a brief but impactful and truthful journey of evil desires within us. If evil desires go unchecked they lead to evil actions and evil actions lead to death. Here is another way to visualize the addiction of pornography - first there is lust in our heart when left unchecked produces sin. This sin grows into a full blown addiction, a "god" and becomes a killer; putting things to death. Relationships, marriages, children, finances, etc. There was a time in this country when we encouraged smoking among all ages, advertised it and sold it everywhere - there were even vending machines. Then a generation of people started to develop respiratory diseases and cancers associated with smoking cigarettes. There was suddenly a retract because smoking cigarettes was proven to be addictive, meaning the body needed it, the mind had built a chemical dependence - then a retract that it was in fact a slow killer, affecting all parts of our bodies slowly, effectively and differently. A pornography addiction left uncheck and unaddressed is like smoking cigarettes. It will effect all aspects of your life. Not at first and maybe not for many years but there will be a time when the realization that a pornography addiction has developed an inability to be satisfied. Desensitized to a point where everyday pleasures begin to lose their excitement - this includes sex - forcing a porn addict's activity to expand and explore harder and different types of pornography to get the same arousal. Like James said it will cause death.

For the majority of men struggling with pornography addiction there is a great deal of shame and guilt associated with it. This is played off in many ways, maybe angry toward those an addict is attracted to or toward those closest to us like a wife because of the hypocriticalness of the secret life. This shame and embarrassment is a result of the lying, hiding, eluding  and fits all the emotional bi-products of an addiction. Similar and same actions where exhibited in my fathers alcoholism. My father had to adopt sobriety and build a lifestyle that reflected that sobriety but first it had to start with a choice. His choice came after a dramatic interaction with God, while downing himself in whisky and making a choice to die at his own hands with his .38 caliber pistol. After he awoke, God whispered to him His purpose - the choice was made. Let me be clear though, he just didn't wake up and was cured, he simply made a choice to be sober and build a life that supported that choice. See it's easy to just accept the pit we are in, to look around at the filth, dirt and bad decisions and just acknowledge it and divert the truth. The real change comes when a person admits his situation screaming from the pit - allowing the pit to become his strength and not his crutch. The way out of the pit of addiction is to build footholds, without footholds you are merely scratching and clawing eventually beaten down from fatigue and failure from a white-knuckle approach. For many years I kept my secret addiction and reliance to pornography hidden. Until one day there was a realization that porn may be the one thing keeping me separated from God's purposes. Isaiah 59:2 says that our sins have cut us off from God - not God - we are the ones causing the separation. For me and my father we made choices to remove those sins and addictions but it wasn't overnight and it was not easy. Being Brave is not easy - its standing up for what is right and just. Accepting the reality of the situation and making the decisions that turn into actions that start a road to recovery. 

The Apostle Paul tells Timothy in 2 Timothy verse 7 that we have not been given a spirit of fear. Paul encourages him to be brave, to stir up the gifts God has given him. Those very same gifts from God are available to all of us - without exercising, without stirring up the fire under the embers the gifts are covered with a life of secrets, lies, hurt, pain, shame that results in decay. For many Christian men they are under the impression and fall under a pressure that once you accept Christ and choose to walk a Christian lifestyle that those addictions should just simply go away. This is exactly what Paul reminds and warns Timothy of in 2 Timothy - with out work and making choices to utilize those opportunities to use those gifts given by God it is simple a life of struggle. The pit of pornography addiction is real, very real - the shame and guilt a person feels in that addiction is not real - that is simply a tool to keep you there. Bravery is the start of recovery. Being Brave is the beginning to Being Free. 

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