Little Things

Today’s church service was amazing at Antioch Community Church. The pastor discussed trials in our individual life’s and how God uses trails to shape our character. The service was very emotional for several reasons, I am in a place right now where I feel God’s presence in my life more then ever; I feel as if I am trapped in the community in which I live and am being held back. Secondly my wife has been struggling with issues of her own that God has been dealing with her about. Lately me and Tabitha feel a little over whelmed with everything that God has shown us that needs some adjusting. In Psalms 105 it speaks of Joseph and the trials in which he endured, in verse 19 it says “Until the time his prediction came true, the word of the Lord tested him.” I have heard this verse a couple of times before; however, when I heard it today I saw it in a new light. It was as if God was ready for me to understand another ‘piece’ of the puzzle.

When I came to the cross and accepted Christ truly into my heart in February of 2005 at the Salvation Army in Waco, I felt as if nothing could conquer me, nothing could come against me that was not of God. Don’t get me wrong this is true, when you accepted Christ into your heart you are surrendering your life and yes there is a lot that changes in your life. I immediately quit drinking, smoking and doing drugs; I was a changed man. I was in the Justification stage of my relationship with Christ, I was restored by grace in a relationship with Christ and I was pardoned from my sin. This was a most glorious day in my life that I will never forget. After this awesome life-changing event occurred I had to return back to the real world; the world in which I now was responsible for reflecting Christ in, being in the world and not of the world. I realized that it was hard.

When I threw down all the junk that was causing problems in my life, with my relationships, myself and especially with God, I forgot to lay down a few. I had thrown out all of the most obvious afflictions that I was carrying, the ones that people could see; however I had a whole lot of afflictions and sins of the world I was holding onto. This included my attitude, gossip, greed, envy and lust of course. I had acted out James 2:14-26; which states in verse 24 “…a man is justified by works and not by faith alone” and in verse 26 “…faith without works is dead.” I was calling myself a Christian and was acting no different than the world. I was still participating in actions and events that went against the Word of God. In late 2005 God begin to bring some personal trials my way; I wanted my life to truly change, to experience what Ecclesiastes 2:26 says “To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness…”

In 1994 Gavin Rossdale of the band Bush released a song called Little Things. Here is the chorus of that song:

Going up

When coming down

Scratch away

It's the little things that kill

Tearing at my brains again

The little things that kill

The little things that kill

It truly is the little things that can kill. With everything I have had to deal with in my life the lust of my hurt has almost killed me. The lust of a man’s heart is a powerful weapon that evil uses against men. I can remember so many times coming off of a spiritual high with God just to come crashing down several days later. I am proud to say that for the first time ever in my life I feel as if the bondage of lust in my heart has subsided. The reason for this is because of the trials that God has put me through. When Gavin wrote the lyrics for Little Things it seems to me that he was struggling with the little things that haunt us when we are alone. When I was alone I would drown out the feelings with drugs and alcohol, when I got rid of those distractions I couldn't ignore the ‘little things’ that I had not taken to God. These ‘little things’ where my safety net, they were the parts of my life that I was not ready to give to God because I was honestly scared of what I would have to do next.

I struggled with an addiction to pornography for at least 15 years. I was this man that was on fire for God yet when I was alone; by myself I was a man tearing my brains out because of the sin that was holding me in bondage. [“When I want to do good, evil is with me.” – Romans 7:21] Every step that I would take for God would be counteracted by steps back for my evil which is my flesh. This was the trial that God wanted me to endure for Romans 5:3-4 says this “…but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope.”

God calls us all and he teaches us through trials. No matter the type of trial, no matter how intense or how painful; God uses the trials in your life in order for you to share His holiness (Hebrews 12:10). Joseph was his fathers favorite, so he was sold into slavery by his jealous brothers. He then was wrongfully accused by Potiphar’s wife of sexual advances which landed him in prison. While in prison God created opportunities for Joseph after having many trials in his life that helped build a character that would ready him for the position that Pharaoh appointed him. God has something great for everyone as long as you see through each trial, just as a parent must ready their child for the world God must prepare his children.